I Was Totally Wrong About Jamiroquai.

I've done some research, and everything I thought about Jamiroquai is wrong. In the most completely humiliating ways!

First, it is a band, not a dude. Second, they are British (why ??? did I think they/he were/was French?!). Third, Jamiroquai is derived I guess from lead singer Jay Kay's name and Iroquois, a Native American tribe whose philosophy he "identifies" with. Yes, those were quotation marks of derision.

Thanks for so thoroughly showing me up, Jamiroquai. I hate you more than ever.

Just kidding. I'm so, so sorry I completely wasn't paying attention to what you are all about. To prove it I might illegally download some of your music.

Sordid Confession.

I don't like Jamiroquai.

Zut alors!

That's right! Je n'aime pas Jamiroquai.

How could I not? He seems to be this beneficent, munchkin-like, totally cutesy French dude with all these positive, practically celestial lyrics and easygoing grooves!

During Freshman year of college, I pretended to dislike, perhaps loathe, Prince, because everyone around me was in a frenzy over him, and my roommate screamed at me, "Wait a minute, you don't like Prince?! What is the matter with you?!" Lots of eyebrows, open mouths, and shrieking. I couldn't stand to go with that tide. A few years later I got to enjoy him away from all of those bitches.

This is not the case with Jamiroquai. I am not trying to go against the monstrous, crushing, Jamiroquai tide. All his songs sound alike to me. I don't understand his name, and if he made it up, I think he did a bad job. I will give it to him, however, in that I think he occupies a niche of one. There is nothing else like Jamiroquai, thank god.

I might have just heard the "track" that will make me change my mind, and that makes sense, because when I get this contemptuous of something it's usually when I'm about to come around.

"Wife Swap" Trounces "Trading Spouses."

After regrettably-scant research, I conclude that, next to its wife/mother-forced-to-live-with-hostile-strangers rival, the robust and in-depth Wife Swap, Trading Spouses is but a flaccid, flimsy impostor. But still riveting.

Aegean Orgy.

Pulverize some tomatoes and calamata olives using a mortar and pestle. Stir in some crumbled feta and broken shards of Suzy's Sesame Salted Flatbread. A Mediterranean taco salad, if you will. Best if eaten while you are in a reclining position, togaed, and watching Rome.