May 25, 2006

There's Someone I'd Like You To Meet.

This is Lubka Bubkova.


This is Lubka Bubkova's next scheduled event (click to enlarge photo).


This is Lubka's personal message to you:

Everybody on Dodge-Blog, we know you must be prodigious in number, what is up?! It is world-reknowned, cosmetologist among many other hats I wear, LUBKA BUBKOVA. Be saving date, beehutchez, cuz rare chance to be recipient of mad science droppings, and marvel at my plausibility-defied outfits, is right around corner! Gonna be Klassic Lubka, you don't wanna miss!

See below, is website.

Lubka is out now.


yougotcharacter.com

May 14, 2006

Riff-Raff.

Oh dear. This is a google ad I'm attracting.

May 13, 2006

POAB = Priestess On A Boat = A Unique Happiness.

I'm really honored to have had the opportunity to see my favorite metal band, Priestess, perform on a boat last night in New York Harbor. I thought I had experienced some adventures in life but this was a strange, unique thrill I never could have anticipated.

The vessel, The Half Moon, was so much smaller than I expected. They should call it the Quarter Moon. There's no such thing though, is there? It took us about 10 minutes to make our way around it, which we did early on to scope out the joint, but it only took that long because it was so crowded and wobbly. I still feel like things are wobbly. Not once did I hurl, although I saw another woman hurl. It seemed ok though, not like, "I feel gross, if I don't spew I may die of alcohol poisoning," more like, "Oops, seasick, let me just get rid of something discreetly." She should get a medal for most elegant vomiting.

My computer is rocking in front of me.

It was a great time because it was such a simple pleasure, really, and yet kinda bizarre, and it all happened by walking north from my apartment along the river for about 15 minutes. In just a few steps I was transported to another world. I know this probably sounds overdramatic, but I live in Manhattan and this was the closest I got to leaving it since last summer (not counting Brooklyn or Jersey City. Hell, Jersey City was last weekend and even that seemed exotic).

Let me put it this way: I was BOATING (there was a CAPTAIN) with a METAL BAND from Montreal.

But as I said, it was a compact vessel. It gave the show a very intimate feel. I did not get to know every other Priestess fan in attendance, but I definitely could have in the time allotted. So it ended up feeling not at all like a concert, but a party with three bands at someone's house. As the house moves down the river and into the harbor under a full moon.

The vessel was nearly dwarfed by the bowl of potato chips, the only thing to eat on the Half Moon, but free of charge. Mike of Priestess came out with it, all excited, and said, "This is just until the big bowl gets here!" Whose crazy idea was it to find the largest stainless steel bowl in existence and serve up chips in it to metal fans on a boat? I don't know, but I do like knowing that handsome Priestess drummer Vince Nudo and I both ate from it. I am sad I didn't get to hang with the band more. I'm a really bad groupie. I guess I'm a fan, not a groupie. This band really delivers. I love them all but I must note that Vince is DEMONIC on the drums. Unfortunately he was too far away and his drumming too frenetically demonic to be captured by my camera, so I captured none of those crazy expressions he makes when he is shredding on the skins. Drum surfaces probably aren't skins but I'm trying to use lingo. I don't know enough drummer lingo. I wish I didn't get so tongue-tied around him. What a teenager I sound like! (My friend Jen was present for the awkward simultaneous chip-eating, and she later said the charge between Vince and me was "palpable.")

So I don't know when I'll be able to see Priestess again live. But I will rest up for it and not get too intoxicated so that by the end of the night maybe I can actually talk to them. Besides being great as a band, they are four sweet, smart, funny dudes.

I'm going to ask Vince out now on my blog:

Vince, the next time you're in New York (or maybe Los Angeles or Montreal, both of which I'm planning on visiting soon), let's get a bite to eat before the show. I mean, you have to eat. What do you like to eat? So it's a date? It can be a group thing if you prefer. That might take some pressure off me. I get so nervous around you. You really are incredibly handsome not to mention the most radical drummer ever in the coolest band ever. I'd like to get to know you better, take a walk around the city with you. Doesn't that sound fun? We could go to the dog park without a dog. I've done it, it's fun. Or I see us in Montreal at a cafe, it's so European there. It looks like the touring has been good for your muscles. Okay, so let me know!

Now that I think about it, I should probably be glad I haven't said more to Vince.



Mikey Heppner of Priestess, beer can owner unknown



Dan Watchorn of Priestess



Priestess. Mikey Heppner, Mike Dyball, Dan Watchorn, Vince Nudo.


This one was on myspace. Someone commented, "Jesus called. He wants his look back."

May 9, 2006

Dear "Amateur Swinger" Who Failed To Spam Bloggystyle.

Just because you succeeded in finding bloggystyle by searching for "wife swap" doesn’t mean I’m going to publish your comment. I’m not into giving amateur swingers free advertising. Frankly, I’m not into giving the pro ones ad space either.

Wait, there is such a thing as a pro swinger?

This all just doesn't make sense.

First of all, swingers have to be multiple. Swinging by definition requires a certain number of personnel, no? Just try and swing all by yourself.

Okay, well, it’s possible, but I think it’s rare.

And professional swinging would require pro swingers and their swingees, presumably also professional, because why would the pros hang with the amateurs? But if you are all pros, swinging together, who is paying you? What is anybody going to hire a bunch of swingers for? Swinging is supposed to be recreational, right? Like tennis?

Don't corrupt it by selling it.

Oh. I forgot. You're not selling it, you're an amateur.

I think amateur in this case must mean "bad."

At any rate, your comment is flabby with redundancy, which gives me a not pretty window into your swinging.

I’m tempted to link to your page. Your grammar and punctuation alone would make my reader(s) lose bladder control.

I'll consider it.