If You Do Something Revolting In Public, You Might Find Yourself Here.

Call it a coping mechanism.

From now on, if I discover you being brazenly, casually, repulsively inappropriate around me, inside, I will be filled with the silent scream of stifled rage, but outside, I will appear composed as I stealthily snap your likeness.

Call it a bargain compared with strangulation.

The gentlewoman pictured below BLEATS into her cell phone at lunchtime in a busy office district, while repeatedly picking with her fingernails and discarding tiny pieces of something off her legs. With violent concentration, oblivious to the world beyond her loud, inane conversation, and her leg-picking.





My guess is she just went in for a lunchtime wax. At a cheap place that leaves your legs waxy.

OMG, Shannen Doherty Is Back!!!

You know, Brenda of 90210?!

She has a show on Oxygen where she'll end a relationship for you.

Wow, I can tell it's going to be juicy, judging by these preview posters I've seen around town (click to enlarge):

My New Veterinary Clinic?

I've been shopping around for a new vet. This one's really close by. And, though it's not among my usual criteria for choosing a vet, this one requires a very unusual system of entry:

Gramercy Cat.

Sometimes the cheap phone cameras surprise you.

I Realize That I'm Very Solipsistic.

And I don't care.

Who Has A Vacation Home I Can Visit?

Dodge needs to get the hell out.

If you have a cottage, cabin, villa, manse, chateau, or dacha I may invade for a brief time, I would like to hear from you.

My credentials:

1. I clean up after myself.
   
2. I will walk, hold, feed, and pet animals.
   
3. I will not encourage you to eat those iffy fungi on our nature walks.
   
4. I make the meanest, baddest guacamole you will have ever tasted (with or without cilantro, out of respect for those for whom cilantro = soap)...
   
5. And the most perfect margarita to go with it. (My fruit-garnish preparation skills are top-notch.)
   
6. I can haul out the wit if a moveable salon is what you are looking for.

Or I can completely ignore you all weekend, if that is what you are into.