Two Kinds Of People In This World.

We can each be classified as one of the following:

Those who think Amelie is just the most enchanting French flick.

Or those who think it is a shockingly vomitaceous bile-pile.

I'm sorry, Friends Who Like Amelie. I know who you are. I've read your Myspace and Friendster profiles. When I read that you liked Amelie, I froze, caught as I often am between disbelief and disdain. I briefly wondered if you might be a cyborg and I hadn't known it all this time.

Please let me know if you're just a cyborg.

Amelie is an insult to life itself. Life is dirty, you saucer-eyed kewpie! Not polished to a fairy-tale glimmer, with you skipping around Paris like a benovolent scheming imp. Paris wasn't meant to be used that way!

Amelie, you are vacuum-packed and sexless!

This is a movie en Paris? What a long, sad road we've traveled from Brando's backdoor butter.