Worst Weather Combo Ever.

Blustery. Winds gusting at times to more than 40 miles per hour.

Cold. 25 degrees, "feels like 11."

Icy. Whatever rain or snow fell last night is now shellacked to the pavement.

And it's bright and sunny. Sounds good, but 1) it makes the ice slick, and 2) it is blinding.

So you can take part in X-treme sports just by going outside. Just get on the sidewalk and bend your knees a little, and you'll start skating along. You might want to bring some ski poles. Because I'm sure like me you happen to have a stash of ski poles taking up space. I guess it's Special X-treme Sports, because you're blind, too.

Fortunately, all this nonsense should calm down tomorrow night in time for Dodge City, to a balmy windless 23 degrees. I.e., "feels like 23." Now that's the kind of weather you can sink your teeth into, that fires you up and makes you want to live!*

If you have any interest in life, please come join me and these high-quality guests tomorrow night:

Angry Bob
Rebecca Ciletti
Abbi Crutchfield
Emily Epstein
Elon James White

Dodge City
Sunday, Jan. 21, 9 pm
Parkside Lounge
317 E. Houston St. @ Attorney
Between Aves. B & C
F/V to Second Ave.
J/M/Z to Delancey
No cover

*Entering a mixed metaphor contest.